The Strong, Silent Type

I met a guy for coffee last night. I wasn't sure I wanted to go... I've had enough coffee to last me for years; and it was stiflingly hot; and the man in question had confessed to seeing my profile online months ago but not contacting me because, "the personality profile you have isn't one I typically mesh with at all." Great. Thanks for doing me the honor, buddy. But I made myself go because I'm trying to turn over a new leaf, a leaf in which I am able to find my prince out of sheer volume of frogs I meet for coffee. Plus, Christy told me that you can't judge your interest in or connection with someone just off of a picture and a profile: some guys are bad spellers; MOST guys are bad picture takers. You've just got to keep meeting frogs till you find one that's promising.

That's why I was a little nonplussed when I showed up at Starbucks to be greeted by Gerard Butler.

Of course I didn't realize he was Gerard Butler at first. I was too sidetracked by his tall, brooding, deep-eyed handsomness. And the fact that he had only one, really deep dimple on the right side of his face. FOCUS!!! No, no, I didn't make the connection until he was in the middle of telling me about being a training officer for the military and I had to shout, "Holy crap! You look exactly like Gerard Butler!!!!!!!!" He started laughing, whether because of my enthusiasm or because I obviously couldn't concentrate on what he was talking about I don't know.

"I'm sorry, I just had to say it! Why are you laughing? Have you heard that before, do you get that a lot?"

"Yeah, I've heard it before," he said.

"Well, don't be offended. Geez, people tell me that all the time. I obviously bear a more striking resemblance to him than you do, but still..."

Anyway. I talked to Gerard for 2 hours, at which point the conversation lulled and I said, "So, what do you think, are you ready to go?"

And instead of saying, "No, I'm having a great time talking to you! Tell me more!" or even saing, "I guess we ought to, it's getting kind of late, but I've sure had a blast with you!" he said, "Yeah. I think so."

I looked at him blankly. "Okay."

"Well, thanks, I had a fun time," he said.

"Yeah well," I replied airly, "I'm a fun person, what can I say?" No way in hell was I going to tell Mr. Inscrutable that I had had a nice time too. HAH! I had sat there most of the time trying to figure out what was going on behind his eyes. He gave the impression of making lots of value judgments and thinking many deep thoughts, but having no intention of letting them anywhere near the surface. I realized he was the strong, silent type.

And that's when I wondered: can I be who I really am with the silent type? Or will I just end up being Crazy Elle?

The thing I've noticed over the past several years, is that I change my personality depending on the guy I'm with; but unlike most other girls who change to be more LIKE their guy, I change the opposite way: to be as UNLIKE him as possible. If I'm with someone who is really self-confident and outgoing, I turn inward and and insecure. When I'm with someone who is nervous or self-effacing, I become effervesent and exuberant. I always feel like I need to go to the opposite extreme. For instance, last night, Gerard had been so quiet and reserved that I felt compelled to walk up to SEVERAL complete strangers and start chatting them up. I'm not kidding, I even got one email address. Gerard's aloofness was making me uncomfortable (what was he thinking, dammit!??!?), so I overcompensated by being as outgoing as I possibly could. Plus, let's be honest, if a guy is interested in you, you'll know, right? And I was getting the impression that he couldn't care less...

"Well, see ya!" I said, as I walked to my car.

He laughed at me. Laughed? Why is he laughing? Damn him!!!!

"Would it be okay if I called you sometime?" asked Gerard as he walked up to his Jeep.

"Eh? Why? I thought I scared you off. You know... with the personality. and the not wanting kids. I don't get it. Man, you're difficult to read."

That is when Gerard walked over to where I was standing, pinned me against my car and kissed me passionately under the glow of the moonlight, in front of all of the other Starbucks customers, who began applauding wildly and whistling for us!

Okay, I lied, that did not happen. But he did shove his hands into his pockets, walk over to my car and say, "I'm hard to read? Man, I'm sorry."

"Oh. Oh. It's okay. UM, maybe I'll be seeing ya..."

And that was how we left it.