Number of dates in the present week: 5
Number of men I am intrigued by: 1
Number of honest conversations I have had about the lack of chemistry with guys I feel nothing for: 0
I went out with Gerard again last night. Ma made me. She loves farms and Gerard wants to be a farmer someday. He stresses the joy and freedom of being able to walk outside starkers and take your underwear off the drying line.
"Do I look like a girl who will ever hang clothes on a line outside to dry? Or run out of underwear?" I asked incredulously. He just laughed. Fortunately, I liked Gerard (he was the only guy in this week's dates who caught my attention), so he got a pass.
Last night, he came over, met Laura, walked around town, and came with me to the wine bar, where we ate pizza and beer. He took a while to warm up, but when I asked whether he was shy or untalkative, he said shy so I forgave him. Then, we got a blanket and spread it all out on the hill by the lake in front of my house and looked at the stars for a few hours while a delightful breeze blew over us and the windmill purred across the street. It was all very wonderful until he opened his mouth and started talking...
...about what "dating" looks like ideally. And what do you think dating looks like ideally to Gerard Butler, ladies and gentlemen? Courtship. ewwwwwwwwwww. I shudder just recalling the conversation. He said that he believes "dating" should allow him to have many such experiences (completely platonic nights under the stars with a girl he is lying a solid foot away from) until voila! God suddenly reveals to him, "This is the one I want you to pursue."
I am such an unaccountably shy person when it comes to voicing my opinions that I merely said, "Well, that is pure crap. That's the exact opposite of what I think dating should look like!! I hate all those Joshua Harris books about kissing dating goodbye and all that. Everyone I know who believes in the courtship mentality is crazy and socially deluded." I have got to start controlling myself.
So I don't really know where that leaves us. I assumed that all that meant he is one of those guys who don't believe in kissing a girl until he is pretty much engaged to her. And although I like him a lot, if that is the case, adios amigo. I don't like you that much. I need me some smooches.
3 comments:
Hmm, yeah seems like a good way to lead girls on without being held accountable for it. Good for you for voicing your opinion! Remember when Joshua Harris wrote a follow up to "I kissed Dating goodbye" and it was basically like "uh...just disregard all that i said because it was wrong" :)
and seriously, 5 dates in one week? Way to go!
yeah. I'm bummed though. I liked him, despite the shyness and the unaccountable conservatism. I think the "not sure I want kids" thing did him in.
this lady who has been meeting with me and praying for me for a year or 2 gave me a "talking to" via email about how it is my role in life to be a mother, that's what God created me for and can I REALLY blame a man for wanting to "fill his quiver"??
Seriously? what do you make of that?
Ok first, i had to stop laughing outloud about "filling his quiver". what does that even mean? where is that in scripture? Secondly, i don't think i buy into the whole, every woman should be a mother idea, but i also come from a profession where i see a lot of horrible mothers out there. Certainly i think there is value and we get that opportunity to raise up Godly children but on the flip side of that, i also think we have this mindset that we "Deserve" to have children, that we have some right. I think too many people jump into having kids without asking God first. and then when we can't have them, we wonder why? we try fertility treatments and attempt to force the issue. I do not believe that every woman's role in life is to have kids. I think we automatically do it because that's what you're "supposed" to do after you get married but i don't think people on the whole spend half a second praying about it and seeking what God wants.
SO, long answer, no i do not think you have to be a mother to fulfill some role. Ugh, some days i think i do not want kids. I want to enjoy Dan and when kids come around, it makes it much more difficult. PLus, i've been with incoming kindergartners and first graders this summer(see blog for more stories) and i want to pull my hair out.
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