Love Actually

There's this scene in Love Actually where a guy who's harbored an all-consuming crush on his best-friend's girl finally confesses to her that he loves her. It's Christmas and everything's possible on Christmas. He has no desire to break up their relationship and no wish for anything other than to unburden himself and let her know that he will always love her. So he confesses on these giant poster cards while she stands at the door. She kisses him in thanks, and then goes back inside. And then he leaves. He walks out into the night and he says, "Enough. It is enough." And you get the sense that he is going to move on with his life now and find a nice girl and or maybe go to South America and study plants and learn to forget about this woman. He can do that now, because he has been honest with her and his own heart (she always thought that his studied avoidance of her meant that he hated her). So now he can move forward with his life.

That's kind of how I feel with regards to New York Nick. Nick and I never had a "break up." It was the most lacking in closure of any relationship I've ever had. He just kind of quit speaking to me. And when I tried to ask him about it, he would send an unrelated one line text in reply: "Great to hear from you, E! How's life?" and that's where things ended. It infuriated me, because there was nothing I could do about, because it was not mutual, and because Nick evidently was writing me off as a friend as well. I responded as I usually do, swinging wildly back and forth between caustic comments and heart-rending pleas. It was a method guaranteed for failure.

But now all that is changed. Now I've seen Nick again, now I've had a nice long chat with him with no trace of awkwardness. And it turns out it wasn't even necessary to allude to the fact that we had an uncomfortable period. I feel I can walk away and say, "Enough. It is enough." I can go forward with my life and let Nick go. Of course, I would rather not. But it is enough to end on good terms.