Gratitude

Today I was able to wake up and write in my Gratitude Journal, "I am thankful I dated Nick." Not just thankful for Nick's presence in the world or for what Nick taught me about life, but specifically thankful that I dated him. That's big. It only took me 9 months to get here.

The reason I'm thankful I dated Nick is this: I got a profound introduction into the importance of families. Nick loved his family. In fact, I think his perfect day would involve hanging out with his parents. I was deeply shocked when he told me that God would rather I help my wayward little sister than donate money and time helping the homeless people near my church. "You see the importance of family all throughout the Bible," Nick said. "God takes that seriously." From watching him, I learned to honor my parents, yes, but also to delight in them. I stopped seeing visits to their house as my cross to bear and started to think of how I could be a blessing to my mom and dad.

That, if nothing else, was worth the six years and my heart I lost to Nick.

Undoubtedly, every time I go through a bad breakup I realize something new about myself and what I'm looking for. Now I can add to my list, "I'm looking for someone who loves his family."

On Saturday, Dad and I were discussing how I had spurned the guy he'd picked out for me to marry (In my defense, Dad sprung him on me out of the blue on what I'd thought was a simple father-daughter lunch date). Kyle, to my father's lament, had gone on to marry a very nice girl who was Not Me. "If it's any consolation, Dad," I said, "it seems obvious that God has intended me to be a Spinster, so it wouldn't have worked out anyway."

"I don't believe that for a minute," Dad said stoically. That was all he said. But, as my father, his words carry more weight than most. So maybe, somewhere out there, is someone else for me.