I went to a wedding a few weeks ago. It was very nice, but in the midst of all of this joy, people kept coming up to my date and saying, "So... when's it going to be your turn?" And like magic, after the wedding, he decided he didn't know if he could "see" himself with me. So then, that was that.
In bygone years, I suppose I would have dragged it out as long as possible until I made him completely miserable. But Life is stale and stagnant. I feel like I'm in a rut and I'm tired of doing what I've always done. So I said, "I've got other things going on. If you figure your life out, I'll be back in the area at the end of the summer." And that was it. Over. But then I've had to make good on my word to go DO something with my life this summer. I put it off as long as possible, out of fear, but finally I registered for some writing classes in New York.
I feel okay. Scared stiff, but determined to shake myself out of all of my ruts if it kills me. I'm going to New York. AAAAGHGH!
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