Resignedly Ever After

Once upon a time there lived a little princess. She lived in a subdivision of modest homes, in the Age Before Cell Phones, if you can believe it. During this period in history, children used to play outside. Together with the other neighborhood children, the princess played tag, street hockey, and baseball, as well as more advanced games like What-Should-We-Do-With-This-Duck’s-Nest?! and Will-Anyone-Notice-If-We-Pretend-To-Go-Missing? It was a golden age in many ways.

In due time, the princess became a young woman and fell in love with a bespectacled boy up the street. He loved Mystery Science Theater 3000, went to church a lot, and wanted to work on the new Internet when he grew up. On her birthday, he made her a scavenger hunt out of roses. It led her all over the neighborhood to important locations in their youth and culminated with a gift of glow-in-the-dark stars, which she glued to her bedroom ceiling. The princess thought he was perfect in every way.

Her parents were not of the same opinion. They were devoutly religious, and while they did not dislike this boy more than anyone else, they harbored a general loathing of boys in general. No matter what the princess did, she could not convince them of her innocence or purity. If she played basketball in the boy’s driveway, they were scandalized; they considered it wanton licentiousness. If she jumped on the trampoline in his backyard, they thought she was giving the neighbors something dirty to talk about. The princess tried to grow up but anytime the boy came over to court her, the environment became so hostile that he left in sadness and misery. Eventually, the Queen told the princess that since she obviously had no regard for their beliefs or standards, she might as well leave and raise herself.

The princess was heartbroken. She thought that perhaps she could earn the King and Queen’s approval by foreswearing all romantic love from that day forward. So she told the boy goodbye and determined to raise herself into the best, most brilliant woman in the land. In due course, she left her kingdom and ventured out into the great, wide world to do just that.

Many years passed and the boy waited for her. And then many more passed and still, he waited. And one day, he quit waiting. And so he got married and had 3 beautiful children and moved far, far away.

The princess, meanwhile, did her best to raise herself into a brilliant, accomplished woman. And by the time she felt sufficiently brilliant and accomplished, she realized that she was utterly alone in the world and that she had never learned the art of relationship, in her effort to appease her Sovereigns. And now, at this stage, it seemed far too late ever to learn. People would think her foolish and inept. And so the great jest was that the King and Queen could keep the princess for themselves after all.

Then one day when she was out in the fields on their estate, the boy came back. Only he was a bald and skinny man now. He had come from his land far, far away and heard that she was nearby. And so they sat down with the King and Queen and chatted for quite a long time. The princess learned all about the 3 lovely children, and the boy learned all about…nothing, really, because there was nothing for her to share. At the end of the hour, the princess hugged him tightly and sent him on his way.

Her nephew, 5 years old, strolled over and crawled onto her lap. “I love Kora,” he said solemnly. “She’s my best friend. I’m going to marry her when I grow up.”

“That’s nice,” said the princess. “Did you know, I used to be quite good friends with Kora’s uncle? He used to live in her house when we were little. It was a very long time ago, when I lived here. My bedroom was the one you have now!” 

He stared at her bemused. Finally he said, “And did it have the glow-in-the-dark stars?”

 “Yes. Kora’s uncle gave me those stars almost 20 years ago. Isn’t that strange?”

He shrugged and announced that it was time for him to go back to his friend’s house to play.

The princess turned to the King. “He certainly likes Kora.”

The King, delighted, said, “Yes, what a nice little girl! And she comes from such a good family.”

The princess stared at the King. “Yes, I know, Father,” she said. “They were always a good family. Even back when I wanted to be with one of the sons.”

The King looked down at the ground, saddened. “And we drove him off, didn’t we?”

She nodded. 

“I’m sorry,” he sighed.

"Thanks," she swiped her hand across her eyes and attempted a grin. "It's all right."

"No. Will you forgive me?”

I wish I could tell you that this story ended well, but how could it? For as I’ve stated, the boy was married and lived in a land far, far away and the princess never did quite manage the art of relationships after spending years neglecting it. So she continued stolidly along into eternity, with only the King and Queen to keep her company. But she hoped that perhaps one day, she would sit in a place of honor at Kora’s wedding.