What T. Read in 2019

QUICK GUIDE:

Fave Adult Fiction: This is How It Always Is

Fave Memoir: To Shake the Sleeping Self

Fave Poetry: tie between Shout and Milk & Honey

Fave YA: They Both Die at the End

Fave General Nonfiction: Attached

1. The Lies We Told (Camilla Way, Supsense) Way’s novel Watching Edie was chilling and shocking, so I couldn’t wait for this new one to come out! When the main character’s boyfriend vanishes, she starts to question everything about their relationship… including why his sister disappeared 20 years earlier. 1/4/19 – 4 stars

2. Americanah (Chimimanda Ngozi Adichie, American African Lit) I really enjoyed the narrator’s unique perspective on how an African’s experience of being black in America differed from an African American’s experience. 1/28/19 – 3 ½ stars

3. Bone Gap (Laura Ruby, Fantasy/Mythology) This book is LIT. It’s like realistic and mythological and magical all at the same time…yet set in a tiny town in Illinois. I didn’t realize it was a modern-day Greek myth until almost the end. 2/5/19 — 4 ½ stars

4. Circe (Madeline Miller, Mythology) My book club chose this and I❤️ it. It’s a retelling of Greek mythology from a woman’s perspective, more specifically, the witch of Aia. It was fantastic! One of my students read it, as well, and she loved it. 3/1/19 — 4 ½ stars

5. An American Marriage (Tayari Jones, African American Lit) BOOOO!! This book was depressing as hell!!! I think it’s meant to shed light on mass incarceration and its repercussions, but geez. I like books that provide insight about the Black experience in America, but this was hard to read. (SPOILERS) Roy Hamilton is wrongfully convicted of raping a woman at a hotel, despite the fact that he was with his wife during the attack. He is sentenced to 13 years in prison, which breaks him. Then his wife hooks up with his best friend and he’s got nothing left to come back to. Oh also, his mom dies while he’s locked up. Good writing, important topic, depressing subject. 😡 3/27/19 — 3 stars

6. The Wife, the Maid, and the Mistress (Ariel Lawhon, Historical) A fictional recounting of the real disappearance of a Tammany Hall judge in the 1930s. Everyone knows something, but no one’s talking. I like that this book was built on a New York tradition — apparently, for decades after his disappearance, Judge Crater’s wife went back to the seedy bar where he was last seen, ordered to whiskeys, and toasted him out loud. After a few years, other New Yorkers started joining in. 3/31/19 — 3 stars

7. Wonderlust (AmyRose Tomlinson, Memoir) My sister wrote this, so I’m not really qualified to give a review without compromising my integrity!! But if you want a glimpse into the Tomlinson mind and upbringing, here you go. She recounts her travels through Uganda, Seoul, and various other ports around the world, as well as her struggles with faith. Great descriptions of Africa 4/11/19 — can’t rate, totally biased!

8. Healing the Shame That Binds You (John Bradshaw, Psychology) As part of my year of happiness research, I thought it might also be helpful to read about barriers to happiness, in this case, shame. This book had some great insights about the origins of shame and how it triggers addictions AND perfectionistic tendencies. Parts of it seemed kind of hokey (the guided meditations), and parts seemed way over my head, but I liked that it was written by a former alcoholic who studied for the priesthood before deciding to become a therapist instead. 4/24/19 — 3 stars

9. Attached (Amir Levine, Psychology) This book was AWESOME!! The authors took a complex topic (attachment theory) and put it all into laymen’s terms. I found myself highlighting or annotating almost the entire book. I think Amazon might have recommended this book to me? It was #1 in Sociology and will help you understand why you act the way you do. I immediately recommended it to friends! 5/3/19 — 5 STARS

10. Love Sense (Sue Johnson, Psychology). Dumb title, but I decided to explore more attachment theory, so I bought this anyway. It was ridiculous. Can’t believe it was so highly rated. The author did way too much self-promotion of her own patented couples therapy. WTF. 5/30/19 — 2 ½ stars

11. The Secret History (Donna Tartt, Realistic/Historical) A group of Classics students at a small Northeastern college decides to experiment with a Greek bacchanal. Although they discover the secret to unlocking their inner desires, they unleash evil, as well. This book was mostly boring. It was over 400 pages long and most of the time they just drank a lot and smoked cigarettes. I get that it was supposed to be a modern-day Greek tragedy, and it’s rated very highly on GoodReads, but it didn’t really do anything for me. 6/5/19 – 2 stars

12. Shout (Laurie Halse Anderson, Poetry/Memoir/YA). Walter Dean Myers and Laurie Halse Anderson changed the game in Young Adult Literature by giving a face and a voice to a generation in silence. This is the story, told in free verse, of how Anderson came to be that voice and how Speak was born out of the ashes of her own shame. It was amazing! 6/5/19 – 4 stars

13. Wilder Girls (Rory Power/YA). A group of girls on a remote island off the coast of Maine come under the mysterious influence of “the Tox” — an illness that kills some, mains others, and changes all. Idk why I trust Goodreads… this book got 4.14 stars there. Maybe I’m just not a fan of lesbian horror? Who even knew that was a genre? 6/9/19 — 2 stars

14. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society (Mary Ann Shaffer & Annie Barrows, Historical). I don’t gravitate toward historical fiction, but after enough friends and students told me to read this, I caved. I’m glad I did! It’s a documentary novel set just after the end of WWII. For lovers of Anne of Green Gables. 6/11/19 – 4 stars

15. An Anonymous Girl (Greer Hendricks & Sarah Pekkanen, Suspense) This book was so freaking creepy!! I loved it!! In a way, no one is more powerful than psychiatrists, those people who peel back the layers of your mind and your moral code. But what’s to prevent a psychopath from becoming a shrink? Nothing. The sense of atmosphere in this book was LIT. 6/13/19 — 5 stars

16. The Heart Goes Last (Margaret Atwood, Dystopia). I loved The Handmaid’s Tale and liked The Blind Assassin so I picked up this book by the same author. In a dystopian future, there aren’t enough jobs or houses for everyone, but there are enough prisons. Enter Positron, a for-profit prison that offers an innovative trade-off: come be a prisoner here for six months of every year, and for the other six months, we’ll provide you with a normal house and regular employment! Charmaine and Max accept because it’s better than living in their car. How bad could it be? This book had so much social justice potential…and instead it bombed. 6/15/19 — 2 stars

17. The Last Time I Lied (Riley Sager, Mystery) — At Camp Nightingale in the Adirondacks, well-to-do young women swim, canoe, paint, and take archery lessons all summer long…until 2005, when three girls from the same cabin mysteriously vanish without a trace. The fourth girl in that cabin is haunted by memories of that summer. Fifteen years later, Emma Davis is a famous artist and invited back for the inaugural re-opening of the camp as its painting instructor. Emma returns, but only to search for what happened to her friends. This was good, the ending caught me a bit by surprise. 6/17/19 — 4 stars

18. Then She Was Gone (Lisa Jewel, Suspense/Mystery) — Beautiful Ellie Mack vanishes one day on her way to the library, leaving her mother Laurel devastated. Years later, Laurel meets the perfect Floyd Dunn and wonders if she is finally ready to move on after the tragedy of Ellie’s disappearance. But when she meets Floyd’s daughter Poppy, Laurel is shocked to discover the child is a spitting image of Ellie. As strange clues pile up, Laurel’s sense of dread builds. This was an interesting book…nothing surprising but it kept me turning pages. 6/22/19 — 4 stars

19. Understanding the Borderline Mother (Christine Lawson, Psychology) — This is a nonfiction book that uses fairy tale archetypes to explain the thinking and behavior of mothers who have borderline personality disorder. It is written for the adult children of those with BPD, to provide them with a framework for understanding and coping. This was my second time reading it; it’s really good. 6/30/19 — 4 stars

20. Before We Were Yours (Lisa Wingate, Historical) — My sister hates books but insisted I read this immediately after she finished it. Based on real-life monster Georgia Tann, the book tells the story of siblings ripped apart from their parents and farmed out to new families for profit in 1939. I didn’t love it as much as my sister did, but I suspect it’s because she actually works in a Children’s Home. 7/4/19 — 3 ½ stars

21. Made You Up (Francesca Zappa, Realistic YA) — 17-year-old Alexandra is as unreliable a narrator as they get: she’s schizophrenic, and through her eyes, readers never know what is real and what is imagined. This book was good, I just found the villain really far-fetched. But teens will love Alex and her autistic boyfriend Miles. 7/8/19 — 3 ½ stars

22. I’ll Never Tell (Catherine McKenzie, Mystery/Suspense) — The owner of Camp McCaw was obsessed with Agatha Christie, so when he dies, he stipulates in his will that his children cannot inherit until they determine which of them was responsible for foul play that nearly ruined the camp twenty years earlier. This book was great, I didn’t predict the ending at all! 7/9/19 — 4 stars

23. For White Folks Who Teach in the Hood – and the Rest of Ya’ll Too (Christopher Emdin, Sociology) — The author some really interesting ideas for the open-minded or those who teach in a district that gives teachers a lot of independence. Emdin continually emphasizes the importance of extra credit or test exam points added on for “non-traditional” things — showing a willingness to help others, creating classroom positivity and such. I really liked what he had to say about how the current system causes violence to students because that’s true. I loved his examples of rap cyphers and black, Pentecostal churches as places to learn how to teach. And I love how he explains why students who receive free lunch are wearing Gucci belts worth hundreds of dollars. He’s got some very good info, but it’s not an easy read. It feels very academic. 7/18/19 — 3 ½ stars

24. The Screwtape Letters (C. S. Lewis, Fantasy/Religion) — A senior devil writes letters to his nephew, a newly appointed devil, on how to damn a human soul to hell. This book has been around for decades, existing as a satire, guide, and warning for Christians. I don’t even like church-y books, but I found it very thought-provoking, instructive, and funny! 7/18/19 — 5 stars

25. Lock Every Door (Riley Sager, Suspense/Horror) —I don’t do horror, unless it’s gothic, but if you don’t mind a bit of that, this is a quick and compelling read. Broke, homeless Jules gets a dream job apartment-sitting at the legendary Bartholomew in NYC. When she finds out her favorite author is living only a few stories below her, she cannot believe her luck! But then people begin disappearing. I will give the author this: I did not see the ending coming. 7/20/19 — 4 stars

27. They Both Die at the End (Adam Silvera, YA) MIND = BLOWN!!!! This book takes place in the near-future, when a company called Death-Cast calls to alert people when they have fewer than 24 hours to live. In this way, individuals can say their goodbyes, attend their own funerals, and make peace with their lives. Two high school boys who receive the alert on September 5th decide to become “Last Friends” to help each other make the most of their remaining time. 8/10/19 – 5 STARS

28. Under A Painted Sky (Stacy Lee, YA) An escaped slave girl and an orphaned Chinese girl dress up as boys and team up with a group of cowboys heading to California to pan for gold. This book was boring. 8/23/19 — 2 stars

29. Persepolis (Marjane Satrapi, Graphic) A girl narrates and illustrates her childhood in this coming-of-age story about growing up during the Islamic Revolution. I freaking loved it! This is the first graphic novel I’ve ever read, and it reminded me of Reading Lolita in Tehran. 8/25/19 — 5 stars

30. Shipbreaker (Paolo Bacigalupi, Fantasy YA) A shipbreaker named Nailer lives in poverty in the future United States. When climate change melted the polar caps, entire American cities were submerged, creating a market for children to strip and scavenge what remained. One shocking discovery allows Nailer to dream of a better future. Started out slow and boring, but then got a lot better. 9/11/19 -- 4 stars

31. This is How it Always Is (Laurie Frankel, Realistic) From the time he was 3 or 4, Claude knew he should have been a girl. Heartbroken at watching their youngest son struggle to fit into his own body, Rosie and Penn move their family to the Pacific Northwest in the hopes that “Poppy” can start over as a girl. This is a story of growing up and finding your way in a world in which you don’t fit. Funny in parts, it also made me weep because surely all of us are caught between two somethings and struggling to find our way in the world. 9/26/19 – 5 STARS

32. Nil (Lynne Matson, YA) On the island of Nil, to which people are transported at random, you have 365 to escape or die. Since no one knows what is causing people to turn up on Nil, and since Nil doesn’t actually exist, it’s impossible to predict what will happen next. This was an interesting book an interesting premise (also first in a series). Reminded me of Lost. 9/28/19 – 4 stars

33. Free to Fall (Lauren Miller, YA) In the near-future, people have become not only addicted to their cell phones, but dependent on the software program “Lux” to make all their decisions for them. So what happens when the secret society behind Lux decides to take over the world? This book was very interesting! I liked all the biblical allusions about free will. 10/3/19 – 4 stars

34. Lockdown: Escape the Furnace (Alexander Gordon Smith, YA) I’ve been trying to find more books boys would like. After the Summer of Slaughter, England introduces a zero-tolerance policy for teen murderers: anyone convicted will be sent to Furnace Penitentiary—a brutal prison located one-mile below the earth’s surface. This was blood-and-guts horror and it ended on a LITERAL cliffhanger. I hated this book through and through, but my students seem to like it. 10/16/19 – 1 star

35. Holding Up the Universe (Jennifer Niven, YA) Libby was the world’s largest teen, now 300 pounds lighter and looking too make a fresh start. Jack has prosopagnosia, or face-blindness, and can’t even recognize his own parents in a crowd. After a bullying incident at school, the two become an unlikely pair who stand up for and protect each other. I loved All the Bright Places and Niven did not disappoint with this book either! 10/22/19 — 4 stars

36. Get the Guy (Matthew Hussey, sociology) My boss at the store gave me this book because she loves it (she’s single). I was really touched that she knew I loved books and gave me one important to her. There are short video clips you’re supposed to watch, which slowed my reading. My main takeaway has nothing to do with getting a guy, it’s just something I want for my life: say YES to everything! NYT Bestseller. Interesting perspective. 10/27/19 —4 stars

37. To Shake the Sleeping Self (Jedidiah Jenkins, Travel Memoir) Disenchanted with his life, confused by the stifling shame inherent in his conservative Christian upbringing, Jedediah Jenkins buys a bicycle from #rei and cycles from Oregon to Patagonia. As the miles roll by and he is confronted with other cultures and ways of being, Jed mines his past and search for peace. I almost quit reading this book because the writing style annoyed me at first. So glad I didn’t. This book may be The Best Book I’ve Ever Read. 11/12/19 —5 STARS

38. New Kid (Jerry Craft, Graphic Novel) This quick read tells the story of Jordan Banks, a light-skinned kid from Washington Heights who gets accepted to the exclusive, mostly-white Riverdale Academy downtown. As Jordan tries to navigate his new prep school, he experiences a ton of microaggressions that make it tough to cope. This is such a good read for white people who know they need more racial sensitivity training. 11/13/19 – 4 stars

39. The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery (Ian Morgan Cron, Psychology) A friend really likes the enneagram and I was curious to learn about myself through this ancient personality test (srsly, by some estimates, it has been around for 4,000 years). I found it both very enlightening and also very maddening. I took an online quiz to discover my “number” and came up 70% of 1, 4, and 6. How can you be 70% of three different numbers? That doesn’t seem mathematically possible. I found the tips for growth helpful though  11/18/19 – 4 stars

41. Love Lies Beneath (Ellen Hopkins, Realistic) A rich divorcee from a troubled past sets her sights on someone new — but is he who he claims to be? Come to think of it, is she? I LOVE Ellen Hopkins’ YA books (Crank, Glass, Identical, etc), so I expected something awesome for her foray into adult prose. Epic disaster. Massive fail. The writing was terrible (?!) and the characters unlikeable. 12/13/19 — 2 stars

42. Come As You Are (Emily Nagoski) A compendium of “anatomy, physiology, behavioral and comparative psychology, gender studies, media studies, and more.” This book was a fantastic look at womanhood. The only thing I hated — and this was a big thing — was that she peppered the book with dumb euphemisms instead of using the actual scientific terms, which I would have preferred. You can’t go to the doctor and say, “listen my Feels are out of wack about my Sleepy Hedgehog because my Little Monitor isn’t getting what it needs from my One Ring.” That was obnoxious! But overall, good book. 12/22/19 — 4 stars

43. Sin Such As This (Ellen Hopkins) This is the sequel to book #41. I know I said that one was dumb, but I needed a quick read. This fit the bill. Plus, it’s about a sociopath who goes through spouses like candy. If you are in a hospital with nothing but time on your hands, there are worse ways to keep yourself occupied — Hopkins is master of the twist ending. 12/24/19 — 3 stars

44. The Life We Bury (Allen Eskins, Realistic) Vietnam veteran Carl Iverson is dying of pancreatic cancer after serving a thirty-year sentence for the rape and murder of a fourteen-year-old girl. Joe Talbert is a struggling college student assigned to write a biography in his English class. Iverson allows Joe’s interviews with the single caveat: withhold all judgement. This book was compelling except there was nothing surprising about it, and I anticipated all the big reveals. 12/28/19 — 3 ½ stars

45. Milk & Honey (Rupi Kaur, Poetry) THIS BOOK! It’s about heartbreak and loss and it will spread to your soul if you are hurting. I read the whole thing in about an hour, pausing to copy down a bunch of verses. 12/29/19 — 5 STARS

46. The Sun & Her Flowers (Rupi Kaur, Poetry) This book of poetry is about love, loss, sacrifice, and isolation. It is beautiful and I copied down a bunch of these verses, too. 12/29/19 — 5

47. Where the Crawdads Sing (Delia Owens, Realistic). As atmospheric as Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil or All the Light We Cannot See. Coming from South Carolina, I appreciated the landscape descriptions and the dialect Owens included. The story of the “Marsh Girl” who was abandoned and left to raise herself was heartbreaking. Still, I didn’t love this book as much as everyone else seemed to. Some parts dragged, and the ending didn’t surprise me. 12/31/19 — 3 ½ stars

What Has T. Read in 2018

* This was an EXCELLENT book year, so all my favorites would not fit in the grid.

1. Crim & Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky) A man commits a brutal murder but makes the case that crime is justified if the payoff is high enough or the man “great” enough. I didn't love this. This story could have been told in 45 pages, not 450. (Classic) Jan 13 – 2 stars


2. American Street (Ibi Zoboi) Fabiola Toussaint is a 16-year-old Haitian girl immigrating to the United States with her mother. When her mother is barred from the US and sent to a detention center, Fabiola practices the voodoo from her youth to bend space and time so “Papa Legba” will reunite them. This book was AMAZING! (YA, Magical Realism, Urban Experience) Jan 16 – 5 STARS!


3. Dear Martin (Nic Stone) Justyce is one of the only black boys at his prep school. He scored a 34 on the ACT and a 1520 on the SAT. But he's still arrested and thrown in jail after forcibly taking the car keys away from a drunk white girl. In response, Justyce starts writing letters to MLK, seeking answers to his problems. What I appreciated about this book is that the author takes common racial slurs and explains through literature why they are so offensive. (YA, Realistic Fiction) Jan 21 – 4 stars


4. Brothers in Arms (Paul Langan & Ben Alirez)16-year-old Martin watches as his brother is gunned down in a drive-by, and he must come to grips with how far he’ll go for vengeance. I read this Bluford High book with my 4th Hour Boys’ Book Club. It was simplistic, but they liked it. (YA, Urban Fiction) Jan 24 – 2 stars


5. Rules of Civility (Amor Towles) Katherine Kontent is a working class girl in 1930s New York. This book traces her ascent to the upper echelons of New York society and the colorful friends she made along the way. I love New York novels, great read! (Historical) Jan 27 – 4 stars


6. The Hating Game (Sally Thorne) I don’t know why Goodreads recommended this book to me. It was a trashy read but I can see how it would hold a certain “beach read” appeal. (Realistic) Jan 28 – 3 stars


7. The Diving Bell & the Butterfly (Jean-Dominique Bauby) After suffering a massive stroke, the editor of French Elle painstakingly dictates his memoir by blinking his left eye. Bauby died two days after it was published and his words stand as a testament to the triumph of the human spirit. (Memoir) Jan 31 – 3 ½ stars


8. Animal Farm (George Orwell) A group of farm animals plot to overthrow humankind. Orwell wrote this “fairy story” as an allegory for the Russian Revolution and rise of Communism. The ending is chilling and gets me every time. (Classic) Feb 2 – 5 stars


9. We Were Here (Matt de la Pena) Three 16-year-old boys from tragic pasts run away from their group home in an attempt to start over. Despite the fact that no one cares for them, they need the world to know: “We were here. We existed.” This book was PHENOMENAL and heartbreaking at the same time. I highly recommend! (YA, coming-of-age) Feb 10 – 5 STARS!


10. Prodigal God (Tim Keller) Keller explores the parable of the prodigal son from the perspective of Jesus as the “perfect elder brother.” He talks about how in order to bring a prodigal home, someone has to shoulder the cost. This book was interesting. I normally don’t like Christian-y books too much, but this one caused me to order another one by Keller. (Spiritual/Religious) Feb 12 – 4 stars


11. Murder in the Cathedral (T.S. Eliot) Thomas Becket, Archbishop of Canterbury is traveling irrevocably toward his fate as martyr in this play/book by Eliot, written in 1935. Eliot won the Nobel Prize in Literature and I liked studying him in college, so I thought I’d give this a whirl. It was okay. (Historical Drama) Feb 13 – 2 ½ stars


12. The Fallen (Paul Langan) This is the continuation of the Bluford High book, Brothers in Arms. Confronted with his brother’s killer, Martin Luna has to choose vengeance or justice. We read this in our 4th Hour Gentlmen’s Book Club. It’s the first book Sean has ever loved, and he read ahead. These books are great for reluctant readers, but not my cup of tea. (YA, Urban Experience) Feb. 20 – 2 stars


13. All the Light We Cannot See (Anthony Doerr) This won the Pulitzer so I thought I’d better check it out. It is about several different characters and their experiences during World War II – most centrally, a blind French girl and a genius Hitler Youth boy. The writing was spectacular and parts of the story were deeply disturbing in their “realness.” But the story ended oddly… I suppose it ended how stories do end in real life: with questions. (Historical) Feb 18 – 4 stars


14. The Woman At the Window (A.J Knight) An agoraphobic woman strung out on anti-psychotic medications thinks she witnesses a murder across the street. Little does she realize the danger she is in. To be honest: I saw the ending from a mile away. I think I’ve read too many of this type. (Suspense) Feb. 19 – 3 stars


15. Shattering Glass (Gail Giles) There are a lot of stories where a group of popular kids decides to “makeover” a nerd. This is the brutal and chilling story of what happens when the nerd doesn’t play by the rules. I found it very unsettling. (YA, Realistic) Feb. 28 – 3 stars


16. The Wife Between Us (Hendricks & Pekkanen) I drove thirty minutes to get this book from the city library on Grand because on Goodreads everyone was talking about the multiple twists and shocks. I read it in about a day. It was good, but I think it takes more to truly shock me after all the psychological thrillers I've read (hint: Read “identical” Ellen Hopkins). (Suspense) Mar. 3 – 4 stars


17. Food Freedom Forever (Melissa Hartwig) Grace and I read this together while we did another Whole30. I did not like it as much as the actual Whole30 book. Hartwig’s writing style is now no longer mitigated by her (ex) husband. (Nutrition) Mar. 13 – 1 star


18. Midnight in the Garden of Good & Evil (John Berendt) A sensational murder rocks the quiet and stately town of Savanah, Georgia. This book was SO well-written and atmospheric. The plot and characters, although real, were like something out of a Greek tragedy. (Creative Non-fiction) Mar. 15 – 4 stars


17. Secrets of a Charmed Life (Meissner) Two sisters are separated during the Nazi blitz of London in 1940. They spend the next 20 years searching for each other and trying to atone for the choices that led to their loss. I did love that this book was set in the Cotswolds. (Historical) Mar. 28 ­­– 3 stars


18. The Sociopath Next Door (Martha Stout) 4% of the population (or one out of every 25 people you know) are certifiable sociopaths. This book explains the signs and what to do with them. I loved the beginning but it kind of bogged down at the end. If you read it, quit at page 163. (Nonfiction) Apr. 4 – 4 stars


19. Nine Coaches Waiting (Mary Stewart) An English girl goes to a remote estate on the French/Swiss border to care for the young Comte de Valmy. She soon realizes that he is in grave peril. This book was just okay. It reminded me of something “trashy” that Louisa May Alcott would write when she was young. (Gothic Romance) Apr. 7 – 3 stars


20. Long Way Down (Jason Reynolds) This book was so interesting and a quick read. When 15-year-old Will‘s brother is gunned down, Will follows the Rules of the Street: don't cry; don't snitch; seek vengeance. Before he can use his brother’s gun to bring the killer to “justice,” he is visited by the ghosts of all his friends and family who have died as a result of the Rules. This story is a departure for Reynolds because it is told in free verse. (YA, Poetry, Magical Realism) Apr. 9 – 4 stars


21. Black & White (Paul Vopani) Marcus (who is black) and Eddie (who is white) are a powerhouse on the basketball court and best friends off of it. Both expect to be given full rides to college and then go pro. However, one bad choice leads to devastating consequences… for Black. Even though White actually pulled the trigger, the criminal justice system is much easier on him. This book was hard to read. I wanted to punch Eddie in the face the entire time. (YA, Urban fiction, Social Justice) Apr. 12 – 3 stars


22. The Forgetting (Sharon Cameron) Nadia lives in a society rules by “the Forgetting” – an event that happens every 12 years. With no known cause, everyone in the society loses all their memories and has to rebuild their lives each time the Forgetting happens. Everyone – except, inexplicably, her. This book sounded so interesting and it was nominated for a Truman Award. I thought it was mostly boring as all get out, despite the intriguing premise. (YA, Sci-Fi) Apr. 10 – 1 star


23. Reading Lolita in Tehran (Azar Nafisi) I bought this at The Book House because it looked like a booklover’s book. And it is! The author describes her experiences teaching subversive and “dangerous” Western literature during the Islamic Revolution in Iran. In many ways, it was like reading a real-life Handmaid’s Tale. This book is not for everyone, but if you were an English Literature major, I bet you will love it. (Memoir) May 4 – 5 STARS!


24. Perfect Nanny (English translation of Léila Slimani’s “The Lullaby”) This book was CHILLING. Readers know the ending right from the beginning: a nanny in Paris kills the two children she looks after (don't read if you have young children…or a nanny!) This book is about the WHY. What makes a perfect nanny snap? Told from alternating perspectives, the writer is boss at creating eerie tension and suspense, which is pretty amazing since you already know how it ends! Slimani does a great job of uncovering issues of race, gender, and class subtly. As a character sketch, this short novella is amazing (Suspense) – May 5 – 4 stars


25. Today Will Be Different (Maria Semple) My book club chose this book because they liked Semple’s Where’d You Go, Bernadette (which I haven’t read). This book follows a scatterbrained woman with good intentions through one day of her life. It was weird. So much of it didn’t seem to lead anywhere. I guess that’s how real life is? (Realistic) May 8 – 2 ½ stars


26. Stuff Every Gardner Should Know (Scott Meyer)This is a tiny book but packed full of great information! I bought one for my mom, who also loves gardening. This book has advice about home remedies to pests, which are the best type of tomatoes to grow, and how to make your own compost. It also has a great resource section at the back. (Non-fiction) May 9 – 5 STARS!


27. Amal Unbound (Aisha Saeed) This is a Middle Grades book (grades 6-8), but I read it anyway because I thought some of my lower readers and minority students would find it interesting. It was very good. Saeed tells the story of Amal, a brave Pakistani girl who is taken into slavery to pay off her family’s debt. The author wrote this book to shine a light on indentured servitude in the Middle East. (MG, Cultural) May 16 – 3 1/2 stars


28. The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism (Tim Keller) This book was good; it was just really hard for me to get through. It’s really “deep,” and therefore took me a long time to read, highlight, and annotate. Parts of it, I barely understood (Keller is just far more intelligent than me, I fear). One of my favorite parts was an analogy about falling off a cliff and seeing a branch that you could grab onto, if you believed it could save you: “Weak faith in a strong branch is infinitely preferable to strong faith in a weak branch.” (Non-fiction, Religious) May 17 – 3 stars


29. Sweetbitter (Stephanie Danler) In this coming-of-age memoir, a woman recounts what it was like to be young, naïve, and new to New York City. Knowing nothing about food or wine, she is immediately plunged into the world of serving at the most prestigious restaurant in NYC. I loved reading about New York and Danler’s writing was sublime. I didn’t really like the ending though…one of the downsides of writing about real life (Memoir) May 28—3 stars


30. I Will Save You (Matt de la Pena) I normally love Matt de la Pena. LOVE. HIM. His books We Were Here and Mexican Whiteboy were both amazing. However, this book was blah. I knew the ending by page 56, but then I had to read another 200 pages anyway. Here’s the twist: both “characters” are personalities of the same abused teenage boy. There, I saved you a few hours. You’re welcome. (YA, Realistic) June 3 – 2 stars


31. Heather, The Totality (Matthew Weiner) Written by one of the Mad Men writers, this book examines the life of a small Manhattan family: a husband and wife whose entire world revolves around their daughter, Heather. Juxtaposed with this is the life of a sociopath whose world also revolves around Heather. This short book made me think about class divides and whether violence is ever justified. (Realistic) June 4—4 stars


32. The Paris Affair (Tatiana de Rosnay) This is a book of short stories, all set in Paris. Some of them were quite good. All were about cheating husbands, but I didn’t mind because it’s theoretical to me. (Collection, Realistic) June 5 – 3 stars


33. The Other Daughter (Lauren Willig) Rachel has always lived a simple life, but when her mother dies, Rachel finds out that she is actually the daughter of the Earl of Ardmore. She goes on a quest to confront the father she spent decades thinking of as dead. This author has 2 Harvard degrees: on in Lit and one in Law. I feel like she should have been able to write a less cliché book. (Historical) June 8 – 3 stars


34. The Color of Water: A Black Man's Tribute to his White Mother (James McBride) McBride recounts his mother's life as a white woman growing up in Virginia surrounded by black folks in the 1930s and the way she naturally gravitated toward them because they were kinder. He also grapples with what it was like to be biracial in the pre-Civil Rights era. This is the only time I've seen the term “part Jewish”; it affirmed my experience. Interesting, although the narrative thread was a little hard to follow. (Memoir) June 14—3 stars


35. The English Wife (Lauren Willig) Set in 1899 New York, this novel tells the story of Bay and Annabelle Van Duyvil, members of the elite “Four Hundred.” Murdered in the midst of their Twelfth Night ball, they cause a sensation. This book has it all: forbidden love, family secrets, madness, intrigue, murder. (Gothic Romance) June 24—4 stars


36. The Pearl (John Steinbeck) I love Steinbeck, but he let me down here. This book was fewer than 100 pages, but so tedious. It tells the story of Kino, a poor Mexican man who finds a pearl of great price and thinks to use it to propel his family to greatness. Classic tragic hero tale, could have been told in 1/10 the pages. (Mexican Folk Tale) June 25—1 star


37. Hotel du Lac (Anita Brookner) This won the Booker Prize and I do not see why. It is the story of a spinster romance novelist who refuses to conform to society's expectations and is therefore relegated to an isolated hotel. Boring. (Realistic) June 27—2 stars


38. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo (Taylor Jenkins Reid) To be honest, I would not have read this if the book jacket had been more transparent about the content. This is about a famous Hollywood legend who married seven men over the course of her life but harbored a secret identity. This was not really my cup of tea but it was well-written. June 28—3 stars


39. Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine (Gail Honeyman) Eleanor O. has a unique way of viewing the world. I think she is somewhere on the autism spectrum. When she spots a handsome musician, she decides their fates have been written in the stars…despite the fact that they've never met. As Eleanor seeks to makeover her life, readers learn bit by bit just how tragic it has been. This book was hilarious and heartbreaking at the same time. Well done! (Realistic) July 9—5 STARS!


40. Under the Banner of Heaven (Jon Krakauer) This book was riveting. Jon Krakauer explores the history of the Mormon church, including fundamentalist sects that have committed violent acts in the name of God. At the very end, he confesses his own doubt in any sort of a god, but writes, "Most of us yearn to comprehend how we got here, and why -- which is to say, most of us ache to know the love of our creator. And we will no doubt feel that ache, most of us, for as long as we happen to be alive." That's honesty. (Non-fiction) July 11 – 5 Stars!


41. The Address (Fiona Davis) Switching back and forth between 1885 and 1985, the narrator follows the lives of two different women living in New York's iconic Dakota hotel. With the advent of DNA testing in the 1980s, one of the women has an opportunity to solve a century-old crime. This book fiction book was really interesting, although Sara's story was more compelling to me than Bailey's. (Historical) July 14 – 4 stars


42. Igniting a Passion for Reading (Steven J. Layne) Dr. Layne discusses several strategies he has used in order to build the will to read in his students. (Non-fiction) July 15 – 3 stars


43. I'm Still Here: Black Dignity In a World Made for Whiteness (Austin Channing Brown) Austin Channing Brown's parents gave her—a black female – the name of a white man in order to provide her with a cultural advantage. In this book, she explains her experiences with racial inequity in America. I particularly appreciated her take on race and the Church. (Memoir) July 21 – 3 stars


44. Homegoing (Yaa Gyasi) SPECTACULAR! This novel is a series of short stories following the descendants of two Ghanaian sisters over three hundred years. In many ways, this narrative made clear for me the claims that Michelle Alexander posited in “The New Jim Crow.” This book was heartbreaking, maddening, and hopeful all at once. Amazing! (African American Lit) July 27 – 5 STARS!!


45. Notes From A Small Island (Bill Bryson) I love travel, I love writing, I love memoir, and I love books. So it seemed I would love travel writing, particularly about England! Alas, no. It turns out I am not a fan of this genre. (Travel Memoir) Aug. 15 – 1 star


46. The Historian (Elizabeth Kostova) This is the type of book that I finished all 500+ pages of and then sat back and thought, “Damn. I just wasted a bunch of hours reading about a vampire. What the heck?” It was interesting but really bogged down at times. (Fantasy, Horror) Aug. 27 – 2 stars


47. Born a Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood (Trevor Noah) This book was awesome! Trevor Noah was “colored” person growing up in South African at the fall of apartheid. He spent the first part of his life being hidden from neighbors because it was literally illegal for him to exist or for a black person (his mother) to be with a white person (his father). His commentary on race, equity, and family is both deeply insightful AND hilarious, one of the best books I’ve read in years (Memoir, Urban Experience) Sep. 4 – 5 STARS!!


48. Street Love (Walter Dean Myers) Told in poetic verse, this book tells the love story of two teenagers in Harlem. It was a quick read and the language was awesome! (YA, Poetry, Urban Fic) Sep. 10 – 3 stars


49. The Four Agreements (Don Miguel Ruiz) This book is CRAZY highly-rated on Amazon but I did not like it. It’s based on ancient Toltec shamanism, and the writing is horrific. This goes to show that reviews are super subjective! (Self-Help, Religion) Sep. 11 – 1 star


50. Homeboyz (Alan Sitomer)17-year-old Teddy is assigned to mentor wannabe gangbanger Micah as penance for trying to kill the homeboyz who took ou his (Teddy’s) little sister. But Micah isn’t really interested in being reformed and Teddy is just pretending to mentor as he continues to plot vengeance. (YA, Urban Fic) Sep. 17 – 3 stars


51. Dangerous Girls (Abby Haas) WOAH!!! I found this on a list for readers who loved We Were Liars, so I decided to check it out. This is one of those books that I felt was just so-so until the end…and then it left me thinking for days afterward. 17-year-old Anna is framed for the murder of her best friend Elise. With the prospect of spending 20 years in prison, she faces pressure to plead guilty to manslaughter even as she tries to figure out who actually committed this crime. NSFMS – Not Suitable for Middle School, Ashley that’s for you J (YA, Realistic, Mystery/Suspense) Sep. 23 – 5 Stars!


52. All the Bright Places (Jennifer Niven) Violet and Finch are two strangers who find themselves on top of the bell tower at their school, contemplating death. But who ultimately saves whom? Niven does an AMAZING job writing in the voice of a teen with bi-polar disorder. This book was really sad, though. (YA, Realistic) Oct. 1 – 4 stars


53. The Happiness Project (Gretchen Rubin) The author embarks on a year-long mission to become happier. I found her resolutions overwhelming because there were so many of them, but the book was very well-researched and I found myself underlining a lot! Also, this book inspired me to begin a year of happiness research! (Non-fiction, Self-Help) Oct. 4 – 4 stars


54. The Almost Nearly Perfect People (Michael Booth) Everyone knows the Scandinavians are “the happiest people on earth.” But why is this? Booth takes readers through Iceland, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, and Finland to discover the truth behind Nordic contentment. (Sociology) Oct. 17 – 4 stars


55. The Faraway Nearby (Rebecca Solnit) After her mother descends into senility, Solnit’s boyfriend breaks up with her, and then she herself is diagnosed with cancer. When the phone rings and she is invited to move to Iceland, she immediately says yes and uses the opportunity to examine her life. Solnit’s writing style is extremely lyrical. At first I loved it, but it got old quickly. (Non-fiction, Memoir) Nov. 1 – 1 star


56. The Happiness Advantage (Shawn Achor) Achor is a positive psychologist who travels the world, teaching people at major companies how to be happier. I loved this book. The only downside was that he had to Harvard name-drop about 52 trillion times. (Non-fiction, Psychology) Nov. 8 – 4 Stars


57. A Well-Behaved Woman (Therese Anne Fowler) This historical fiction novel explores the life of Alva Vanderbilt – the inimitable woman who helped propel a nouveau riche railroad family to the fore of New York’s turn-of-the-century society scene. I especially loved recognizing “Edith Jones” (later Wharton)! (Historical fiction) Nov. 10 – 4 stars


58. Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac (Gabrielle Zevin) When 16-year-old Naomi falls down the stairs at her school, she becomes an amnesiac, losing the last 4 years of her life. It’s a reset of sorts. Now that she’s free from remembering her popularity or disordered eating habits, she can explore the person she might otherwise have been. But is the amnesia permanent? (YA, Realistic) Nov 11 – 3 stars


59. Independent People (Halldor Laxness) Winner of the 1955 Nobel Prize in Literature, this book is basically Grapes of Wrath but in Iceland and with sheep. It becomes more interesting as it progresses. Features these important aspects of Iceland: obsession with coffee, volcanoes, mentions of trolls and elves and superstitions in general, sheep farming, independence, and socialism (Historical, Cultural, Tragic-Hero) Nov. 17 – 2 stars


60.We Should All Be Feminists (Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie) I found this on a list of books that all women should read. This Nigerian author explains in her TED Talk – turned- book that oft-misunderstood “feminism” isn’t bra-burning and anger – it’s empowerment and egalitarianism for both sexes, with neither calling all the shots (Sociology, Cultural) Nov. 18 – 3 ½ stars


61. Z: A Novel of Zelda Fitzgerald (Therese Ann Fowler) For being about an incredibly interesting time period (Bell Epoque and the Jazz Age) and an incredibly interesting person (America’s original flapper), this book was pretty boring. A Well-Behaved Woman by the same author is much more interesting (Historical) Nov. 21 – 2 stars


62. Slouching Towards Bethlehem (Joan Didion) I found this essay collection on the list of books every woman should read. Some of the essays by the iconic Didion were quite interesting and enlightening: they paint a realistic portrait of 1960s in San Francisco. Others were hard to wade through. (Non-fiction, Essays, Historical) Nov. 28 – 2 stars


63. Bitter Orange (Claire Fuller) An awkward, overweight woman with no close companions unexpectedly finds herself befriended by a glamorous, worldly couple, but things are not all as they seem. This book contained elements of Charles Dickens and Shirley Jackson. Interesting, though parts did seem like a stretch… (Suspense) Dec. 5 – 4 stars


64. Once Upon a River (Diane Setterfield) Part fairy tale, part archetypical myth, part gothic horror, this book is for lovers of The 13th Tale (my fave). It reminded me of “The Tale of the Three Brothers” from Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows. Loved all the motifs and symbolism! (Gothic) Dec. 12 – 4 stars


65. The Swans of Fifth Avenue (Melanie Benjamin) This book recounts the tragic friendship of Truman Capote and Babe Paley, darlings of the 1960s. I resonated most deeply with the author’s note at the end. She explained that she’d always had a love affair with NYC but been too afraid and too Midwestern to do anything about it (Historical) Dec. 18 – 3 1/2 stars


66. It’s Up to the Women (Eleanor Roosevelt) Truman Capote’s catty comments about Roosevelt in Swans of 5th intrigued me. This book, written as a manual to help women navigate the Great Depression, is amazing. I wanted to discover for myself what civil rights activists like Roosevelt were really about. I’m glad I did; this book is fascinating and inspiring (Non-fiction, Sociology) Dec. 23 – 4 stars


67. The Art of Happiness (The Dalai Lama) I read this as part of my year-of-happiness research (begun in October). It had some helpful advice on maintaining an attitude of humility, gratitude, and honesty, and of looking for the common humanity in every person you meet. And some of these concepts will remain with me! But I found this book dry and difficult to read. (Psychology, Spirituality, Sociology) Dec. 24 – 2 stars


68. The Italian Wife (Ann Hood) This book is written in the format of multi-generational vignettes about an Italian-American family. I found the abuse scenes disturbing and hard to get past. For a book with a similar format, I recommend Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi (Historical, Cultural) Dec. 26 – 3 stars


69. The Little Book of Restorative Discipline for Schools (Amstutz & Mullet) I learned about a school that has begun employing restorative justice practices as an alternative to traditional punishment and the “zero tolerance policy,” so I wanted to learn more. I was skeptical at first because it sounded like some feel-good millennial bunk, but the more I read, the better I liked it! This book is just a primer for the topic, but it seems to offer a legitimate alternative to the school-to-prison pipeline. I ordered the companion book as soon as I finished reading! (Social Justice, Education) Dec. 28 – 4 stars


70. Educated (Tara Westover) There were 92 people ahead of me in line for this book at the library. Now that I’ve read it, I understand why. This memoir is one of the most powerful books I’ve read in years. If you grew up in a fundamentalist or extremely conservative way; if you’ve ever wished you’d been taught how to think instead of what to think; if you viewed the world as wholly black and white, good or evil; or if someone you love suffers from a personality disorder that framed your experiences— Tara’s story is for you. For lovers of The Glass Castle (Memoir) Dec. 31 -- 5 STARS

You Just Ignorant As Shit: An American Story

This is your fair warning that this blog post may not be to your liking. Leave now if you are likely to be offended by my wrestling with questions about equality.

Man. Remember when this used to just be posts about my worst dating experiences? 

Like that time I hit on a gay guy? 

Or that time an anesthesiologist started crying on our first (only) date? 

Or when that one dude asked me out for dinner and then just sat there -- foodless -- watching me eat?

Those were the good ole' days, eh?

I've never been a terribly balanced individual. A few decades ago, someone told me water was good for me, so I drank 3 gallons of it one day. When I was around 19, my mother told me you should only eat when your stomach growls, so I took her at her word, lost so much weight my roommates didn't recognize me, and developed an eating disorder. When I was 21, someone told me running is good for you, so I ran 3 hours in an afternoon.

I've been like this pretty much as far back as I can remember. 

It wasn't until I turned 24 that a psychiatrist finally diagnosed me with "OCD tendencies -- we don't like to say that patients are OCD anymore, because that's labeling, you understand, but here's some medicine. Hopefully this will help you stop counting things so much."

(My folks believed more in prayer, the laying on of hands, and anointing things with oil than in doctors and medicine. They are die-hard Conservatives. That may be important later.)

I often worry that the people who have known me the best and the longest are just shaking their heads at me and wondering when my next "phase" will occur and whether they can put up with me for long enough to get through this one. After all, I don't still drink gallons of water a day or run for hours at a time.

That was all Prologue.

Here's what I'm trying to say:

I'm confused by American Christianity. I've been confused for a long time, but I thought that as I aged, things would make more sense. Instead, they've just gotten cloudier and cloudier.

I am confused because I have shifted and the world in my immediate orbit has not.

I grew up in South Carolina surrounded by Confederate flags, listening to blatantly racist sermons in church on Sundays. It did not occur to me that any of this was wrong. How could it? My parents were fundamentalist Christians who took me to Pro-Life rallies and Billy Graham crusades. I was in a closed feedback loop.

Then I went to teach in Hazelwood and all hell broke loose. I realized I was going to lose my job if I didn't start educating myself about Black folks. That's the God's honest truth. 

The summer that Michael Brown was shot, I'd been in Hazelwood for 5 years already. I was still asking co-workers asinine questions like, "Is it true black people don't get bitten by mosquitoes? My friend's boyfriend is black and he says that's why he never gets bitten. Is that a real thing?"

Then everyone else in the Teacher's Lounge would chime in with equally absurd questions until one of the black teachers said, "Ya'll bein' racist."

Very soberly, I said, "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to be racist."

When things like this happened, the typical reply was along the lines of a deep sigh and then, "Nah, you ain't racist T, you just ignorant as shit." Which I considered a really kind and generous thing to say, even at the time. 

But then Michael Brown was shot, and overnight everything changed: 43 HSD teachers quit in one week. When students chose their own seats in my classroom, there was an invisible line down the middle of the room now: black on one side, white on the other. No one knew what to do, how to act, and me least of all.

It's said that when things aren't working, you have to change something -- it doesn't even matter what. Just change anything at all, because it's never going to get better if you keep just doing the same damn thing.

As I said, I don't do anything halfway so I decided to CHANGE ALL OF THE THINGS!!!!!!!!!!

I started a GoFundMe to raise supplies and founded a drumline in Hazlewood. I moved out of volunteering with Beyond Schools and started volunteering with recently paroled men in North STL. I started reading every book I could get my hands on written by people of color. These books didn't even all make sense to me, but I just kept reading. And gradually, I changed and something inside of me began to shift.

An administrator in my book club said recently that there's no point in talk, talk, talking to people we know who are racist. They are going to be who they are going to be. Leave 'em be.

But I don't think that's true. I have to believe in the basic goodness of people -- despite growing up learning that we are all desperately wicked and depraved. I have to believe that if I could grow and change and learn, other people can too. It's the reason we are teachers. We believe in the human capacity for growth. I owe my own to many teachers who helped me along the way.

I didn't start out nobly. I took the job in HSD because I needed work. I started becoming involved with social justice initiatives to save my ass. But along the way, the men's stories became real, the beat of the drums started uniting the students, and the black authors started making sense.

I recognize that my personality tends toward extremes, and that maybe my zealous nature can make what I think or say or do off-putting to some. But one of the administrators in my North County book club said recently, "When you see the light on civil rights issues, IT'S LIKE YOU'VE MET JESUS!!!!"

And others immediately chimed in: "YES!!!!! It's like meeting Jesus!!! That's exactly what it's like!! You need everyone to know!"

That is as true a thing as I can say, on a deep and fundamental level.

We have this misguided conception in America that you are EITHER racist and evil OR non-racist and good. That's a fallacy though. Racism is predicated on two things: ignorance and power. It's not wrong to be "ignorant as shit." You can be a very good person and be ignorant as shit. 

But we are in charge of where we allow that ignorance to lead us. Are we safe in our ignorance because we have the luxury of saying, "This doesn't directly apply to me and my family?" (power). Or are we willing to take the much more labor-intensive road of loving and educating ourselves about the people who can't do anything for us, whose lives don't even *need* to intersect with our own?

I have to believe that Jesus would do the latter. Regardless of convenience. Regardless of prior bad experiences with people "like that." Regardless.