The Bitch Fast

I was flipping through a magazine at the gym the other day, trying to distract myself from the fact that I was obviously on a Stairmaster, and I was arrested by an article wherein an author proposed to go on a "bitch fast...no bitching for a week."

I thought to myself, I bitch a lot. I don't think I could do that.

Then I started making excuses... well, I work in education, a system that is completely and irrevocably broken. Why, just the other day, I went to a meeting led by our 9 assistant superintendents, each with his or her own 6-figure salary... and yet they claim they can't find the money to give teachers a $500 raise for next year. Parents at the meeting voiced fearful, legitimate concerns about the Common Core Test, and the superintendents nodded sagely and ignored the parents. When someone asked when the students on the East side of our district would start being treated with the same dignity as the students on the West side, the superintendent said perception was a hard thing to change. See? Broken.

But really, I bitch because I've got a natural pessimism that I have no excuse for not curbing. It feels like a great release to walk into the teachers' lounge and announce, "You will not believe what so-and-so's mother just had the audacity to say to me in an email!" And then people validate you and tell you, no, you're not crazy, she is.

Sigh. Really, it's just a self-defeating cycle because then I end up more negative than ever. 

I was talking to Nick about the fact that I act like all the other people I work with, and I wondered, "What does it look like to be a Christian teacher?

Nick said 2 things: one, be an excellent, really hard-working teacher.

Done! Pat self on back.

Two, be kind to others. Actually, I don't even remember if that's what he said, but that's what I took away from his pep talk. And that's where I got hung up. I don't think I could be considered kind to others. I don't put up with people's crap. You want my respect? Do a good job. You want me to loathe your very existence? Dress like a slob, come to school late every day, don't show up for meetings, and give kids the answers to the tests because it's easier than helping them understand how to get there themselves. 

Sigh. See? Where did I get this holier-than-thou attitude? This is the very negativity that fuels me running into my friend Sally's room and griping to her about the oafs mentioned above (side note: Sally works ten times harder than me, so she's cool).

Ergo, I decided I need help. I need a bitch fast. Here is where I will be documenting my findings as I ween myself off of bitching, cold-turkey (is that oxymoronic? Is oxymoronic even a word?). And because Nick opined that I'll never succeed if I don't replace the negativity with something positive, I decided to be encouraging to people. I will ooze encouragement. People will see me and think, "Wow, look at her. She's so encouraging. I feel encouraged just looking at her."
Don't really know how I'll get to that point, but it's all good.